RULE NUMBER FIVE: YOU LEARN WHEN YOU DIE

i've already talked about it. being caught in the vortex. the repetitious seemingly infinite series of trial and error efforts that often times go late late into the morning to no avail, until you come to your senses and, like i said, step away. the good news is every time you died you learned something, you became a better gamer. you found the boss's weakness, you learned what to expect around that corner, you took that information and applied it to your gameplay. you evolved and didnt even know it. so when you get stuck in the terrible trap, never forget that you actually are becoming better not worse. occasionally you make the same mistakes again and again, but if you dont give up, sooner or later you'll forget that you suck and space out and then kill it. 

THIS IS JUST LIKE LIFE...

every mistake you make you learn not to make it again. from a fork in the socket to dating bipolar girls you dont know very well, life's mistakes often times are lamer than you want them to be and when you've just experienced them you feel kinda like a loser, you suck at life (and im not talking about the small stuff.) but the good news is you are learning. eventually you will break out the cycle of mistakes. each time you get dumped or fired, don't get too bummed. think of life as a big zombie mansion and you went around a corner and found a zombie and he went into your neck like a gremlin on kfc and ur dead. are you gonna throw the game out the window? no you press start and continue and this time, you go around that corner ready to blast. so dont ever get too discouraged. you're just learning how to be a person. how to survive.

RULE NUMBER FOUR: THE LONGEST WAY TO THE SHORTEST DISTANCE

sometimes in a game you'll see where you need to get, you get a glimpse of it, or see it through a window, know it's behind a door, etc but something will obstruct your path. then you're gonna have to go around basically the entire maze to get back to that point. this is always annoying. because it is a cock tease. you basically have to put what you saw in the back of your mind in order to proceed with the arduous journey ahead. i think the game designers do it to be cruel, to be clever. maybe to inspire you as you set out on a killing rampage. 

THIS IS JUST LIKE LIFE:

sometimes we get a sense of who we want to be with, where we want to be in our lives, and for some reason that incarnation of ourselves feels like it's as close at hand as tomorrow. and yet tomorrow never comes and we're still the same schlubs with the same lame jobs and the same lame girls. so then we have this dream, like someday i'll be skinny, someday i'll be famous, someday i'll be floor manager etc. maybe you even used to be skinny or awesome or whatever and that was your glimpse, regardless, it's not now. now you are what you are. you want to time travel back to your better you or ahead to it, but you can't and everyday it feels like it's the same distance away from you. meanwhile, your life is being eaten up by time. 

i think you really do have to put it in the back of your head and focus on the mission at hand. it's cruel that we have a dream or an ideal when it comes to ourselves, sometimes it can keep us from becoming anything. the trick is to battle it, focus on the monster in front of you and slice it's head off . do it ad nauseum until one day you look a at your life and you do have that better job, that better body, that end after the means. you can't be too discouraged by wishing you you're something you're not. if you really want it though you have to forge onward into the maze. so work out, don't settle, do the little things that move you forward on your path. soon enough you'll see that point you passed oh so long ago. 

RULE NUMBER THREE: STEP AWAY FROM THE GAME

have you ever tried to do something in a game and it took forever and you just kept on fucking up or dying and then you went insane cuz you couldnt move forward. it's like being stuck in time, a video game groundhog's day. i once watched a friend play tony hawk, like almost ten years ago and he would start try something and restart and he did it like 20 times. each attempt was followed with a louder and louder FUCK! 

i too have been caught in the vortex, whether it's a boss or just some hard to pass part. sometimes what ur up against isnt even all that tough. and you're always gonna have that friend that says, oh that part, i finished it first try (which might get a rule all of it's own.) and yet here you are, unable with all your might to proceed. you look at the clock it's 4am, your thumbs are groaning, the caffeine is starting to lose its punch. here's what you do.

turn off the game and go to bed, or get out of the house and do some of those things on your list. the trick is to step away from the game. often times when i do this, i get past what i was trying to get past first try. obviously there was a mental block, perhaps one of immobilizing frustration, and thanks to taking a break, i was able to get past it without much effort.

THIS IS JUST LIKE LIFE

sometimes you do get stuck in life and you'll find yourself stagnate, no progression what so ever. day in day out the same shit and it's driving you crazy. your friends will be like i took that test and it was easy, or i used to do what u do and i got promoted immediately. what?! you'll say, this is impossible and i want to blow my brains out. im tired of this go nowhere life. 

the trick is to take a break, or even break up routines. maybe dont watch tv every night after work, or maybe even take some time off from work or school. to not only get your mind right, but to appreciate how good you've got it. everybody accomplishes things at different paces, don't let those that seem to coast through life get to you. things have always been easy for them and they don't get it (or maybe they do...) even if it's just stepping away from your desk to get a breath of fresh air, you'll see it'll reward you with a sense of much needed renewal. your pace is your pace, and as long as your moving you're doing ok. just remember to break. and step away. 

RULE NUMBER TWO: WHEN YOU'RE LOST HEAD TOWARDS ADVERSITY

if the game is easy it will tell you exactly where to go. like in deadspace, you just hit your joystick and a blue lazer shoots out of your hand and tells you where to walk. it even faces you in the right direction like a good buddy after a night of gettin plowed. in tomb raider you're lost half the time, i felt this way two prince of persia's ago. they throw you in these huge worlds and expect you to figure it out. because i guess game designers are in love with back and forth puzzles. by the time you're done with a level in tomb raider you know it like the back of your hand. when you first arrive you can't make heads or tails of the place. and then it's time to hit the walkthrus online. whcih occasionally offer no insight. and then where are you, the books? who buys books?

what i find in a game, any game really, when im lost the best thing to do is heads towards any enemies that are popping up. sometimes i'll say to myself, don't go there that's where the enemies are. but that's the point of the game to confront the enemy. so if you're lost just keep searching for something to kill. they'll lead you to the way out and more plot.

THIS IS JUST LIKE LIFE:

when you're lost in life you have to head towards adversity and do the difficult things. it's the the things in your mind that are the most the difficult that will be the most rewarding when accomplished. 

it's the girl you CANT talk to that you need to talk to the most. if you're afraid of climbing the rope in gym, find your inner bad ass, dont look down, put one hand above the other and impress yourself. and your douche bag gym coach. it's those horrible big things that we're afraid of like trying, or quitting a vice or changing a lifestyle. these things we avoid like the plague. if we can head towards adversity and do the most difficult things our lives will be the ones we secretly dream of. and we'll feel less lost.

if the thing you're most scared of is going to therapy, then maybe it's time to go. if you've always known that quitting drinking and exercising will make you happier then why not get started? there's only so much life to live and there are never enough victories. at least for me, like im trying to write this book without looking at the keyboard because it's the hard thing to do. i normally look down and then look up and then go back and fix all my errors. what i'm finding is that i could type in the dark and that makes me feel smart and awesome. 

what i recommend you do is actually make to do lists with boxes alongside each of the items. i was taught at one of my first real jobs, an advertising firm in philadelphia, about making these lists and checking them off. don't get me wrong the list is nothing new, but the boxes do help you get stuff done. and to do lists that are made for your life, like new year's resolution lists are good too and appropriate year round.

it's about doing the most difficult thing on the list first. kinda like watching the movie you don't want to watch first. don't make the easy choice is key. get the tougher stuff out of the way and then it's smooth sailing. don't be lazy, do the things you don't want to do and watch the plot progress.

RULE NUMBER ONE: JUMPING FROM GAME TO GAME

what fucks me up is when im switching from one game to the next, like seven million games came out last holiday season. i was on tour wearing a left 4 dead hat doing zombie jokes, everyone was asking me if i'd played yet. i hadnt, i was on the road and i was unable to play anything. i could just look at magazines, download reviews online. i was seriously jonesin. 

cut to me now with six games maybe seven, some of them not even out of their plastic. i started with fallout 3, then i moved to tomb raider, then i went to dead space, then i went to left 4 dead, then gears of war 2 and back to l4d. 

i find that when you switch back and forth with games like this, you want attributes in one game, or interface, or anything really from the last game to crossover to the next. but they dont. you dont have telekinesis in l4d, even though it would rule ass. you might even find yourself, hitting buttons from one game while you play another because the last game is so branded into your brain.

 

THIS IS LIKE LIFE:

i've had to move around a lot, moving for jobs, moving for tour, i had a different roommate almost every semester in college. what i found is the last location's rules hardly ever apply to the new location. i'd always have to adapt and stay loose. pay attention to how things were done and then do as the romans. sounds kinda like a mindless zombie move, but i feel like you get more out of every new place if you try to be a apart of it, melt into it like mgs4. 

when i was in atlanta i was talking about how improv in nyc was more adventurous and how everything was so awesome and so much better than the south. now i'm back in brooklyn pining for little five points. instead of bitching about a lack of long form, the nyc/chicago style, i could've been mastering atl's short form, adding a new asset to my arsenal. it's great that you got that experience from your last locale, but just let it be that, experience, keep it in the past, in your head, and to yourself. 

what's the new game? what are the new rules? you'll win the faster you forget about the last game, what the buttons meant and how they've switched and how it was better before. fuck all that. learn the new layout, learn the new construct, master it, defeat it. the more you carry with you the more you won't let go. you're less open to new experience. and you dont want to waste time wishing you had telekinesis. cuz who knows how long the game will last?